Monday

Here's Pat in front of...I'll have to ask him. It might be the Grand Palace. He went with his friend, Jeremy, who's visiting Bangkok for a few weeks. It was a really hot day and you're supposed to wear pants and closed-toe shoes out of respect so they came home pretty smelly. Pat left today for a somewhat short business trip. I've written before about how down I get when he's away on a trip. Usually around the night before he leaves a heavy feeling sits in my stomach and doesn't leave for a few days into Pat's absence. This time was different, fortunately. All day today I could feel that mean sadness trying to creep in and make me mope around the house worrying but there was something else inside me that was a lot stronger and just said, "NO you are not going to take over this time!" By about 6pm the heavy feeling had finally won and started to make itself at home down there in my stomach BUT I still refuse to mope and worry. I've literally made a list of activities that Sawyer and I can do to get out of the house and socialize in order to help pass the time that Pat's gone. Sawyer needs a little excitement in his life, anyway. That's not to say he isn't having fun around here. He's learned to move doors open and shut when they're latched open (and pinch his fingers in the process) and he's forever scooting around here chasing toys that he slides across the wood floor. Pat had the great idea to spray Pledge on Sawyer's clothes so that he polishes the floors while playing.

Today I got to read out by the pool while Arlyn watched Sawyer for a bit. It's hot here, highs in the low to mid 90's. But today brought a nice breeze and it's especially nice out by the pool which is on the rooftop of the building that is linked to ours. I'm not much of a sun worshiper but I do believe a good dose of sun every now and then can be invigorating and just make to feel a little more even-keel. I was just finishing up a chapter and about to go inside when this girl came out to lay in the sun on the other side of the pool. She was really dark, had movie star sunglasses, a body that screamed "look at me!" (whereas my body mumbles, "um, this dark line is still here from when I was pregnant and I try to work out but just don't have the willpower to be consistent and can I help it if I like ice cream?")...well I finished my chapter and packed up to go back inside just as she was getting settled. This voice inside me, yeah I know the voices again, said, "Nanny nanny boo boo she won you lost!" It was as if my leaving was surrendering the pool to the hotter chick. Silly. It made me think of the whole inner dialogue thing that psychologists talk about. The book I'm reading has a lot of the narrator's inner dialogue, so that's probably why. Anyway, my inner dialogue needs a little reworking.

Saturday, Pat, Sawyer, Jeremy and I went to Central Chitlom which is a big department store here. We actually went to eat since the 7th floor boasts the most awesome food court ever. It has lots of stands, each with food from a different part of the world, and you go from one to another ordering food. You don't pay until the end. Instead, you get this card upon entering and had the chefs your card when you order. They scan it, hand it back to you with a ticket, and start making your food. You then go to your table and food runners come by to get your tickets, write your table number, and then go get your dish once it's ready. It's such a neat idea, but maybe I didn't explain it well. You'll see it when you come visit. On the kids' clothing floor is a fantastic nursing room. I'm still nursing Sawyer around 4 times a day and he needed to eat. This is the kind of thing you only appreciate when you're a mommy - it's a quiet room that's a little on the dim side with 2 couches, an air purifier that provides nice white noise, and changing tables. For the THIRD time, however, I've gotten ogled by some dude. Despite the fact that "Women Only" is printed on the door in at least a few different languages, some guy follows his wife in as she's changing the baby. Baby changing is a one man job, usually, but guys just like to stand in the doorway talking (LOUDLY) to their wives, or just come in and sit down, or STARE at me confused like this guy did Saturday. I stop nursing Sawyer and stare back waiting for him to find his manners and look away and leave. It took him entirely too long. Of course he didn't see anything, but the sluggish response was pretty irritating. Maybe it's a cultural thing. When a guy notices some lady breastfeeding a baby in the corner of the changing room, shouldn't his response be something like, "Whoa," looking away quickly? Pat said that, no, the response would be to stare and wait for a slip-up. He's kidding.

These issues are all really petty, I realize, but I'm bored and writing on here is kind of theraputic. Sorry if it's super boring for you! OH, I finally saw the Soi 11 bum who Pat always seems to have a story about, seeing him almost daily. Pat thinks he's repulsive. His feet are totally black (the bum's, not Pat's). That is pretty gross. I noticed the feet when I saw him sleeping in front of a tailor shop. But then later I saw him walking around with a total Captain Jack Sparrow swagger. He's like a pirate! Pat doesn't like him because he sleeps in the concrete planters on the side of the street and sometimes lays on his back spitting into the air and then trying to catch it back in his mouth. I always make too much food and told Pat to bring the Soi 11 bum some food. He won't do it because he's afraid he'll be followed all the time. He kind of has a point, Soi 11 is on his way to and from work. What do you think?